oh god the rape fog is back!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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