You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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