Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
