We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
