It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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