that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
