Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
