i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
