what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
