i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
