Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
