Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
