nut hugger
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize