sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
