Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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