Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
