Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
