I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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