He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
someone owes me an orgasm
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
