the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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