We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
