Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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