Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
