We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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