So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
