My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
