dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just pee around me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
