take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
