Screwed.edu
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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