just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
