He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
