Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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