I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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