I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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