Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
