we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
