it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
