it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
