Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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