He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
