i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
