so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
