My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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