We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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