my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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