someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
