i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
