I'm going to jail i love you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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