oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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