If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
